Khutba on Anger
الحمد لله، الحمد لله الذي جبل الإنسان على الغيظ والغضب ، وأمره بكظمه إذا تعلق بحقوق الناس وما يُأَدِّيه إلى القطع والعطب، نحمده تعالى ونستعينه، ونشكره تعالى ونستغفره ونستغيثه، نعوذ بالله من شرور أنفسنا ومن سيئات أعمالنا، من يهد الله فهو المهتد ومن يضلل فلن تجد له وليا مرشدا، ونشهد أن لا إله إلا الله وحده لا شريك له، له الملك و له الحمد، يحيي ويميت، بيده الخير، وهو على كل شيء قدير، ونشهد أن سيدنا و مولانا محمداً عبده ورسوله، وحبيبه وصفيه، بلغ الرسالة وأدّى الأمانة ونصح الأمة، النبي الأمي الذي أرسله الله بالهدى والدين الحق، بشيرا ونذيرا بين يدي الساعة، صلى الله عليه وسلم وعلى آله وأصحابه ومن تبعهم بإحسان إلى يوم الدين.
أما بعد! فيا عباد الله اتقوا الله حق تقاته ولا تموتن إلا وأنتم مسلمون. يأيها الذين ءامنوا اتقوا الله وقولوا قولا سديدا يصلح لكم أعمالكم ويغفر لكم ذنوبكم. ومن يطع
الله ورسوله فقد فاز فوزا عظيما. اتقوا الله فيما أمر وانتهوا عما نها عنه وزجر.
Muslims, many a war has been started, many a marriage has broken up, many a friendship has been shattered and many a grudge has been harboured and nurtured, all because a little flame – a small coal – that springs up in the heart of every human being was left to grow into a raging fire that engulfed his entire being, boiling his blood and overpowering his senses, preventing him from seeing or thinking straight and impairing his better judgement. That coal is anger. The Prophet said,
ألا إن الغضب جمرة في قلب ابن آدم أما رأيتم إلى حمرة عينيه،وانتفاخ أوداجه
“Anger is a hot coal in the heart of the human being – do you not see how red his eyes are and how swollen his veins?” And he also said,
إن الغضب من الشيطان وإن الشيطان خلق من النار
“Anger is from Shaytan and Shaytan is created from fire.”
This coal resides in the heart of every human being, regardless of age, sex or spiritual station. Even the Prophet, the highest example of human potential and possibility, was susceptible to anger, for he used to say as part of one of his du‘as,
اللهم أنا بشر أغضب كما يغضب البشر
“O Allah, I am a human being and I get angry just as other people get angry.”
Anger is a natural part of the human make-up, and indeed is a necessary one, for without it, a human being would lack the zeal and fervor necessary to protect his family and deen and would become weak and permissive. Imam ash-Shafi’i said,
من استغضب فلم يغضب فهو حمار
“Whoever does not grow angry when anger is called upon is a himaar (a donkey).”
But that is not to say that we pander to our anger and give in to it and allow it to govern our responses and actions. It may be natural to feel angry when someone insults you, but that does not mean you should hit him or curse him back. No, Allah loves those who take control of their anger, not those who allow their anger to take control of them. Allah says,
ٱلَّذِينَ يُنفِقُونَ فِي السَّرَّآءِ وَٱلضَّرَّآءِ وَٱلْكَاظِمِينَ ٱلْغَيْظَ وَٱلْعَافِينَ عَنِ ٱلنَّاسِ وَٱللَّهُ يُحِبُّ ٱلْمُحْسِنِينَ
the translation of which is, “those who give in times of both ease and hardship, those who control their rage and pardon other people – Allah loves the good-doers.” And the Prophet said,
"من كظم غيظاً ولو شاء أن يمضيه لأمضاه ملأ الله قلبه يوم القيامة رضا"
“If someone controls his anger when it is fully within his power to show it, Allah will fill his heart with contentment on the Day of Rising.” And the Prophet also said,
" ليس الشديد بالصُّرَعَةِ ولكن الشديد الذي يملك نفسه عند الغضب "
“The strong man is not the one who can throw his opponent to the ground, but the one who can control himself when he gets angry.“
As is indicated by this hadith, controlling one’s anger is no easy matter, and requires great strength and self discipline. When a man he was about to kill on the battlefield spat in his face, the great Companion, Ali ibn Abi Talib grew angry, but did he allow his anger to govern his response? No, on the contrary, he left the man alive and refrained from killing him so as to avoid a response based on rage. He demonstrated his true strength.
There are a number of practical measures you can take to control your anger when you are afflicted by it, both internal and external.
The first is to think back on the reasons for your anger, and reflect on the absurdity of letting such a thing affect you so strongly. For it is often the most trivial and inconsequential of things that enrage you the most – your toast being burnt, or someone taking your usual parking space or jumping ahead of you in a queue.
The second is to remember Allah and call to mind the rewards He has promised you for controlling your anger, while at the same time considering the negative consequences that might ensue if you were to allow it to take hold of you. Allah says in one of His Divine Books,
يا ابن آدم اذكرني حين تغضب أذكرك حين أغضب فلا أمحقك فيمن أمحق
“Son of Adam, remember Me when you grow angry, and I will remember you when I grow angry, and you will not be amongst those whom I destroy.”
The third is to say,
أعوذ بالله من الشيطان الرجيم
“I seek refuge in Allah for the accursed Shaytan,” for as we have said, anger comes directly from Shaytan, and that is what the Prophet commanded his Companions to do when they were angry.
The fourth is to hold your tongue and refrain from saying anything. The Prophet said,
وإذا غضبت فاسكت
“If you become angry, remain silent.”
And finally, the fifth is to sit down and then lie down. And if that does not work, to do wudu. The Prophet said,
إذا وجد أحدكم من ذلك أي من الغضب شيئاً فإن كان قائماً فليجلس وإن كان جالساً فلينم، فإن لم يزل ذلك فليتوضاً بالماء البارد أو يغتسل، فإن النار لا يطفئها إلا الماء
“If anger comes to you while you are standing up, sit down; and if it comes to you while you are sitting down, lie down and go to sleep. Then, if you find that your anger has still not passed, either do wudu in cold water or take a ghusl, for it is only with water that fire may be extinguished.”
أقول قولي هذا وأستغفر الله لي ولكم ولسائر المسلمين من كل ذنب فاستغفروه إنه هو الغفور الرَّحيم
الحمد لله الحمد لله رب العالمين، وأشهد أن لا إله إلا الله وحده لا شريك له وأشهد أن محمداً عبده ورسوله، صلى الله وسلم وبارك عليه وعلى آله وصحبه، والتابعين وتابعي التابعين ومن تبعهم بإحسان إلى يوم الدين.
أما بعد! فيأيها الذين ءامنوا اتقوا الله ما استطعتم واسمعوا وأطيعوا وأنفقوا خيرا لأنفسكم. يا عباد الله أوصيكم وإياي بتقوى الله وطاعته وأحذركم وإياي عن معصيته ومخالفته.
Muslims, living in close proximity with other people is no easy matter. We are like a bunch of thorns constantly pricking one another. We suffer slights on a daily basis, real and imagined, and get angry towards our families and our Muslim brothers. Even the most innocent and harmless of comments can be misconstrued, taken out of context and seen as an insult. People are often ignorant of all the work we have done and treat us with ingratitude and a lack of respect and that angers us. And when one finds no immediate means to satisfy one’s anger and thirst for revenge, it is all too common for that anger to be internalised leading to resentment and bad blood. And that resentment spreads like a poison until we grow to hate the sight of that person whom we deem to have wronged us and start to assiduously avoid his company and, by extension, the company of those who keep his company. If he was someone we used to help, we stop helping him; if he was a friend whom we used to visit, we stop visiting him; and if he was a member of our own household, we pointedly ignore him.
But that is not how you should act towards your Muslim brother, even if he truly did wrong you in the first place. Take the case of the companion, Mistah: he was a man whom Abu Bakr helped out financially. But when he found out that Mistah was one of those who had inadvertently helped to spread the false rumour that Aisha had committed adultery with Safwan, he swore that he would never spend another penny on him. Whereupon the following aya was revealed:
وَلَا يَأْتَلِ أُولُو الْفَضْلِ مِنْكُمْ وَالسَّعَةِ أَنْ يُؤْتُوا أُولِي الْقُرْبَى وَالْمَسَاكِينَ وَالْمُهَاجِرِينَ فِي سَبِيلِ اللَّهِ وَلْيَعْفُوا وَلْيَصْفَحُوا أَلَا تُحِبُّونَ أَنْ يَغْفِرَ اللَّهُ لَكُمْ وَاللَّهُ غَفُورٌ رَحِيمٌ
the translation of which is, “Those of you possessing affluence and ample wealth should not make oaths that they will not give to their relatives and the very poor and those who have made hijra in the way of Allah. They should rather pardon and overlook. Would you not love Allah to forgive you? Allah is Ever-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” As soon as Abu Bakr heard this aya, he said, ‘Yes, we would love that,’ and resumed his practice of supporting Mistah. He understood that one cannot expect forgiveness or pardon from Allah if one is not prepared to forgive and pardon oneself. And that is confirmed by a hadith of the Prophet,
من لا يَرحمْ لا يُرحم
“He who does show mercy will not be shown mercy.” By allowing our anger to take root in our hearts, and cutting off our ties with our fellow Muslims, we are ultimately harming no one but ourselves. We are the ones who are alone and cut off from our families and friends and we are the ones who have distanced ourselves from the Mercy and Forgiveness of our Lord. And if that were not enough, in itself, then there is also the fact that we have contravened the Shari‘a, for the Prophet has said,
لا يَحِلُّ لمسلمٍ أن يَهجرَ أخاه فوق ثلاثِ ليال”
“It is not permissible for a Muslim to be estranged from his Muslim brother for more than three days.” Muslims, we are not, and should never be, people who allow our anger, no matter how justified it may appear to us, to turn into grudges and allow them to fester and grow. We are people who control our anger and pardon our fellows. We must be those people about whom Allah says,
وَإِذَا مَا غَضِبُواْ هُمْ يَغْفِرُونَ
the translation of which is, “and who, when they are angered, forgive”. And about whom He says,
وَإِذَا خَاطَبَهُمُ الجَاهِلُونَ قَالُواْ سَلاَماً
the translation of which is, “and, who, when the ignorant speak to them, say, ‘Peace’.”
Muslims, beware of anger, except when it be for rights that are due to Allah. And never let yourself become so consumed with anger that you forget yourself and lose control of your mind and your actions. For once some actions have been done, they can never be taken back. Rather, control your anger and become one of the muhsinun whom Allah loves. And stick closely to the jama‘a and do not let anything come between you and your Muslim brothers – they are your mirror, so anything that you dislike in them is merely a reflection of your self. Be merciful and forgiving, and perhaps you will be shown mercy and forgiven. Allah is the most Forgiving and the most Merciful.
إنَّ اللهَ ومَلائِكَتَهُ يُصلُّونَ على النَّبِي يَا أَيُها الذينَ آمنوا صَلُّوا عَلَيْهِ وسَلِّمُوا تَسْليماً. اللهمَّ صَلِّ وسَلِّم وبارِك عَلَيْهِ وعلى آلِهِ وصَحْبِهِ أجمعين.
وارض اللهم عن الخلفاء الراشدين أبي بكرٍ وعمرَ وعثمانَ وعلي ، وعن سائر الصحابة أجمعين، خصوصا الأنصارَ منهم والمهاجرين، وعن التابعين وتابعي التابعين ومن تبعهم بإحسان إلى يوم الدين.
اللهم اهد أولات أمور المسلمين لما يرضيك ولاتباع سنة نبيك صلى الله عليه وسلم وثبت أقدامهم على الصراط المستقيم وأصلحهم يا رب العالمين.
اللهم بارك على شيخنا، و على أميرنا، وعلى جميع أمراءِ وزعماء المسلمين.
اللهم بارك على المسلمين في هذه المدينة ووفقهم لما تحبه وترضاه يا أكرم الأكرمين.
اللهمّ أَعِزَّ الْلإسلامَ والمُسِلمينَ (3) واَخْذُلِ الكُفْرَ والكافِرينَ، وانْصُرِ المُجاهِدينَ في سَبِيلِ اللهِ. واجْعَلْ كَلِمََتَكَ هِيَ العُلْيَا وكَلِمَةَ الكُفْرِ هِيَ السُّفْلى.
ربنا ءاتنا في الدنيا حسنة وفي الأخرة حسنة وقنا عذاب النار.
اللهم لا تضعْ في مقامِنا هذا ذنبا إلا غفرْتَه، ولا عيبا إلا سترْتَه، ولا مريضا إلا شفيتَهُ وعافيتَه، ولا مسجونا إلا طلَّقْتَ سراحَه، ولا مسافرا في برِّك وبحرِك إلا سلِمتَهُ وغنِمْتَه.
إن الله يأمر بالعدل والإحسان وإيتاء ذي القربى وينهى عَنِ الفحشاءِ والمُنكَرِ والبغي، يعظكم لعلكم تذكرون، ولَذِكْرُ اللهِ أكبر والله يَعْلَمُ ما تَصْنَعُون. وقُومُوا إِلَى صَلاتِكُمْ يرحمكم الله